Is child abuse allowed in islam??? My uncle and grandma are on my mother's side and tell me to apologize!!?

2012-08-05 05:05:37 UTC

I was abused by both parents, but it was my father's fault. My mother had a tough upbringing because her mother was raised in a village, and was therefore extremely strict and violent towards her, beating her black and blue and swearing all the time. She then got married to my father who only wanted her for money and made her work for his family like a slave and my mum was so gullible she did it all to save her marriage. I remember when i was 4 and we went on a family outing and my brother and i were in the car (he was 2 at the time). My parents were outside and my father had bitten and ripped the skin off of my mother's thumb and it look very red because of the blood, from the view from the car. He had beaten her in the bath tub a lot too and ripped up her shirt from the neckline and kicked her out many times too. He was also very bad towards my brother and I. My mum and I would always try to rescue each other from another one of his attacks everytime he was angry. I also know that he cheated on my mother a lot of times during their marriage and she just kept all of that in. Although she was taking all of that horrible abuse, she was taking it out on me as I was the eldest child. I have been brutally beaten and bled from her anger, whether it had been bashing me with shoes, breaking a wooden spoon on my head, pounding with fists, kicking, yanking me off a chair by pulling my hair and bruising me up all over my body, and swearing at me day and night over every small thing. She would call me a *****, ****** up **** (I'm muslim so therefore have never had a boyfriend as it is not allowed), a ****, bastard,witch, her enemy and that i should go run away and have sex with a guy and lose 'my honour.' She would call me ugly, and say that she wished I was dead and that I am the biggest burden of her life. Everyone makes fun of her for being a bad mother and having such a quiet daughter. People say that I am like a zombie, always serious and anti-social but most of them don't know the hell I've been through. My mum always found a way to twist her problems around so that I was to blame for everything. One minute she would be the sweetest woman around, then she would be like this psycho (spelling?). On Eid I remeber I was sleepy and was having trouble waking up early so when i came down, she chased me around the table and grabbed a large pair of scissors and threw them at my right eye and I still have the scar (this happened around 9 months ago) and still hurts when i look to the side (the hospital made it better and I said I had fallen from the stairs and fallen into the corner of a shoe closet). Eventually a lot of her friends were told by me about how she treats me and she taunts me about going behind her back and 'defaming' her and that I only got beaten because I deserved it. Until recently we've been having more verbal fights (the physical aspect is only a slap or two) with swearing on her part and trying to kick me out of the house by threatening me of sending me to social services where I'd get raped and abused. I always beg her to 'forgive' me for whatever she thinks I have done wrong. She has done good things like raising me up well with love and care until the age of 4 where she started venting her anger out towards me. The abuse has stopped for a week now, and I don't want to call social services because she says I'd get raped and even if I don't it wouldn't really help our situation as Uk social services are different than American ones. All of my mum's friends have sopped tying to help too . I'm a 15 year old girl in the Uk btw and please don't tell me to call social services, the police, or tell a school councellor or anyone, I just need encouragement.
I have no friends at school because of my serious personality and no one likes me. All of this has made me think of suicide but I refuse to do that because It is a grave sin in my religion and I know I am stronger that that as I have survived despite suffering for 15 years since birth. I just need some reassuring words, I don't want to see a therapist now coz they'll probably report it. I might get therapy when I'm 18 and over. Also in Islam it's like betraying your parents if you report it and that is a grave sin. Another thing is that whnever i don't talk to her because of her mistreatment she says its my fault. I have a problem with my feet so she massages them with oil. All I said a few minutes ago was that her hands were hurting me and then she kept going on and on about how i was being ungrateful. Then her anger built up and she started swearing at me and cursing again and again. Then I started to cry and said she was being horrible. This then made her say ' I'll break your ******* face and you can cry as much as you want.' Its hard not to cry when she is so abusive to me. She reminds me of my dad yet she says I'm just like him. WTF